In a previous article, we explained why Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps don’t work for most frum families. It’s a strong system—but not strong enough for a life filled with yeshivah tuitions, seminary, simchas, and skyrocketing food and housing costs. Baby Steps were built for average American households. We’re living something very different.
It’s time for the upgrade: Seven Big Boy Steps. A smarter path for frum life, built on Torah values, grounded in reality, and designed for action. Here we go.
Step 1: Make a Bitachon-Based Budget
This is your GPS—the big-picture financial map that gives structure and direction to everything else. It’s not about scripting every dollar or pretending you’re in control. It’s also not about blindly hoping Hashem will magically fill in the gaps.
A bitachon-based budget lives in the middle. You create a hishtadlus plan that makes sense in the normal world—covering basics, building in goals—but with full awareness that life shifts and Hashem runs the show. You’ll need to adjust many times along the way. But without a general sense of where you’re headed, you’re just financially wandering.
Making a basic budget is fairly straightforward. If you want a template, just hit reply, and I can send you one. If you would like to work with someone, LivingSmarterJewish is an organization that offers free budgeting assistance. Another organization, rsk.org, offers more in-depth guidance, but they charge, albeit at a subsidized rate.
Click here to learn more about fixing a household budet.
Step 2: Do a 10/10 Money Power-Up
Most frum families live close to financial equilibrium. If they’re tight for money, it’s at the break-even point or 5% to 10% over budget. That’s why a 10/10 power-up can be so effective.
Brainstorm, hustle, and sweat to raise your income by 10%, and cut expenses by 10%. Doing so unlocks serious financial flow. This 20% margin becomes your cushion, your investment engine, your path to real wealth. Can’t do 10/10? Start with 5/5. If you can do more, push it. Even small shifts can create major results—faster than most people imagine.
On the income side, ask for that raise you’ve earned. Raise prices in your business. Pick up a few extra shifts. Start a side hustle. On the expense side, trim luxury spending, shop smarter, renegotiate recurring bills, or pause non-essentials. A good tax review alone might save you 10%!
Between spouses, you can usually find at least one lever to pull. Nothing extreme—just intentional. You usually don’t need a neis for a power-up. You need margin. And Big Boys find it.
Click here to learn more about growing your income when your salary is maxed out.
Step 3: Get Debt Smart
Debt is a power tool. Used correctly, it builds wealth. Used recklessly, it wrecks you. Consumer debt—credit cards, car loans, lifestyle financing—makes it almost impossible to get ahead. Sure, you can earn points or miles, and if you use the system wisely, that can be a small bonus. But the moment you’re even thinking about paying interest on groceries, clothes, or vacation, the miles game is over. Crush that debt aggressively.
At the same time, get comfortable using wealth-building leverage. A reasonably sized home mortgage, shrewd business growth, savvy real estate investing—these are money tools, not traps. Seek out these opportunities. Big Boys don’t avoid power tools. They learn how to handle them like pros.
Click here to learn the difference between good debt and bad debt.
Step 4: Set Up Simcha Savings
In frum life, milestone events aren’t optional—they’re central. And a bar mitzvah or chasunah isn’t a surprise party. It’s part of what we live for. But too often, we treat these massive costs like they came suddenly, out of nowhere. They didn’t. And with a bit of planning, they don’t have to be financially overwhelming.
The fix? Open a low-cost, diversified index fund for each child and automate monthly deposits. You don’t need perfection—you need consistency. Start small and contribute to simcha funds regularly and you’ll be able to cover your simchas without desperate scrambling.
Let’s do the math. $100 a month for 20 years, invested at 8%, adds up to over $58,902. Can’t do $100 per child? Start with $50. If you can do more, go for $200 or more. You’ll probably need it!
But the point isn’t the exact number—it’s the habit. Compound investing + time = dignity and generosity, BH, without panic and stress. Big Boys plan ahead.
Click here to learn about different ways to save for a simcha.
Step 5: Secure the Roof Over Your Head
Owning your home isn’t just about pride—it’s a stabilizing force. It’s a hedge against rising rents, a platform for family life, and a major step toward long-term economic security. So it’s vital to scratch, scrimp, and stretch. Do what you need to do to find and buy a house. It needs to cover your family’s needs AND you need to afford it.
But this step comes with a big caveat: don’t over-consume housing. In the frum world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of overspending on the house you “must have” rather than the one you need and can afford.
Think long-term. Think flexibility. Your first house doesn’t need to be your forever house. You may need to move to the outskirts of town. But planting roots—with the right plan—can be a game changer.
Click here to learn more about the right time to buy a house.
Step 6: Build Your Money Team
There’s a lot of money on the table in frum life—earning, saving, investing, taxes, insurance, and more. And many people leave serious value behind simply because they don’t know the basics. Mistakes are made. Opportunity wasted. Money down the drain.
Team Member #1 is you. You don’t need to become a pro. But learning the 10% of basic personal finance—how to build a strong career or business, how to spend wisely, how taxes are legally minimized, how to find wise investments—can get you 90% of the required knowledge. A bit of education goes far, and it pays off for life.
Then you build out your team as needed: a great tax person is a must for most. From there, bring in what you need—an insurance expert, a financial planner, an estate attorney. If you’re educated, you’ll know what to ask, who to hire, and how to make the most of their advice. Big Boys know the basics and outsource the rest to good professionals.
Click here to learn about the finance books that are a must-read.
Step 7: Grow Wealth for Bigger Things
If and when Hashem sends you money beyond your needs, instead of spending it mostly on short-term luxury, focus on investing in long-term growth assets, b’ruchniyusv’gashmiyus. Wealth done right isn’t about indulgence—it’s about maximizing Hashem’s bracha, and using it with purpose, vision, generosity, gratitude, and simcha.
With the right plan, margin, mindset, and tools, you can aim higher than just paying the bills —toward real wealth. Not just survival, but menuchas hanefesh. Not just getting by, but giving back. Passive income, smart investing, building assets, helping your kids, supporting Torah, creating options. Maybe one day you can go back to kollel. Maybe you finally take that family trip to Kever Avos and Eretz Yisroel. And yes—some sushi and steaks are OK, too.
Click here to read some tips on lending money to friends and family.
A Good Starting Point
These Big Boy Steps won’t be perfect for everyone. They require more thinking ahead, more studying, bigger hasagos, larger stakes. But this is my starting point proposal, a more powerful and robust plan for frum couples than what Ramsey offers.
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