“Frumflation” alone couldn’t explain Menachem and Malka Fialkoff’s runaway budget. Frumflation refers to price increases that frum Jews bear in excess of the national inflation rate. But even after accounting for significant Frumflation, it still didn’t add up. The couple earned two solid salaries and lived to the norms of their social circle, but barely kept up financially. And their costs kept spiraling. Over the past 10 years, their expenditures had skyrocketed far beyond their expanding family size and inflation rates.
On top of inflation, or shall we say Frumflation, what else is busting frum household budgets?
Prices Versus Standards
I grew up in New York City not all that long ago, but I sometimes still feel like a shtetl yid suddenly transported into a fantasy “Guldeneh Medinah.” One thing that’s commonly glossed over in parnassah conversations is how standards of living, not just the costs of living, have exploded. The pricing of housing, food, clothing, cars, vacations, etc. is a different factor from the quality and quantities of these categories we choose to consume. And the spending norms of much of the frum world have increased- massively and relentlessly.
Expanding Housing Tastes
Take housing for example. The cost per square foot of real estate has definitely gone up significantly, especially in frum neighborhoods. But so has the average square footage many frum families now consider a must. In Lakewood, where a significant percentage of new frum households settle, the size of a “normal” house has approximately doubled over the past twenty years, and upgrades like granite countertops, high ceilings, and abundant spotlights are now the baseline for new construction or renovations. A house is one of the best places to spend money, but we shouldn’t naively assume that our much larger, fancier homes don’t carry a corresponding much greater cost.
Fine Food Finance
There are many more examples of heightened frum living standards. If you would have told a balabusta decades ago that she’d be paying $7 for $1’s worth of rolled up rice and vegetables she would have laughed. Or cried. I love my sushi too, but pricey food tidbits add up when multiplied endlessly. Chicken on the bone used to be a very fine meal, and stuffed was oleh al shulchan melachim. Today, many treat chicken as a poor man’s food and spend five to ten times the price for their daily protein. Expensive taste is not about Frumflation, but frum indulgence.
Not a Mussar Schmooze
I’m not anyone’s mashgiach, nor am I removed from the spending spiral myself. My spending is far more indulgent than my parents’ lifestyle, and it increases further over time. The growing affluence of the frum world is a natural outgrowth of our communal post-Holocaust recovery and replanting in a welcoming and plentiful United States of America. In addition, not everyone has raised their standards of living and some are cut to the bone. Others can easily afford their expensive lifestyles, and in a busy world, paying for convenience and comfort is often a sanity saver.
How Does This End?
But on both a communal and personal level, to get a handle on today’s widespread parnassah difficulties, we need to take stock of where all that money is going. Where does a constant rise in standards lead us and when does it end? A growing number of frum families, rabbanim, askanim, and baalei tzedakah are questioning the exhausting treadmill we live on, as even significant incomes are rapidly consumed by ever growing spending trends. There’s relentless pressure just to do what’s “normal” even as those norms keep shifting. Upwards. Always upwards.
No Easy Answers…
This issue is not new and there are no easy answers. What should spending norms be? Who decides? And will people listen? We don’t have one cookie cutter kehillah. Is everyone supposed to be spending on the same level? Is a gvir not allowed, perhaps expected, to spend according to his means? How much achrayus do they have to live way beneath their means? Ultimately, the burden of managing the household budget is personal. But communal norms by definition can’t be controlled by a yachid. And, as a society, the spending treadmill and endless tzedakah campaigns are stressful for everyone.
Tachlis Starts with Awareness
I’ll leave the communal level questions and proposals to people wiser than I. But in my experience, while some families can’t trim their spending, many can save at least a few percent of their budgets without much pain. A bit of awareness often allows a unified couple to identify some financial fat to trim. Occasionally, I speak to couples who could build significant wealth if they were willing to spend well beneath their incomes for a while. Instead, they live lavishly while heading towards a financial dead end. Parnassah can be much improved with more fiscal awareness and discipline.
Raising Your Own Bar
Some pivotal decisions lock families into significant financial pressure. Choosing a massive luxury home with correspondingly enormous mortgages, property taxes, and maintenance costs, is making a long-term lifestyle commitment. If the neighborhood is one where standards are very high, you’re making a semi-strong commitment to that too. Similarly, a Simcha can cost 1X, 3X, or 5X. It’s hard to roll back your Simcha standards once you set the bar, very publicly, at a certain level. If you can afford to raise your bar, kol hakavod. But don’t assume that your future income will always support the expense bar you raise on yourself presently.
It All Adds Up
But beyond the occasional big ticket decisions, choosing slightly less expensive cars, wardrobes, meal menus, and vacations regularly can save some families five or even six figures every year. Don’t fool yourself about the cumulative effect of being 5-10% more economical. Compounded into mutual funds, real estate, and other investments, those consistent savings translate into real wealth. Conversely, putting that extra $10,000-$50,000 every year on credit cards will lead a family over the edge, chas v’shalom.
Make YOUR Difference
Inflation isn’t controllable. But spending standards are. Every household budget is different, and each couple needs to decide on how to prioritize. There’s no right or wrong per se, just what works for them. Even holding the line against increasing standards can be very beneficial, if trimming isn’t viable or necessary. And each couple who puts the brakes on runaway spending impacts their family, neighbors, and friends. With enough ripple effects, the kehillah can be changed for the better, too.
Want to dig deeper?
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Frumflation: Why Frum Inflation is So High
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